Tag Archives: Fatherhood

The BeDADitudes: 8 Ways to Be an Awesome Dad

Pope Francis has called Jesus’ Beatitudes our “guide on the path of Christian life.” Of course, as the Incarnation shows, God leads by example. In addition to being a call to Christian discipleship, the Beatitudes could be said to also reveal something about the ways God the Father relates to us, his children. Seen in this light, the Beatitudes present a unique opportunity for Christian men to become fathers after the Father’s own heart.

That’s why I wrote The BeDADitudes: 8 Ways to Be an Awesome Dad, which looks at how the 8 Beatitudes can be understood to shed light on a uniquely Christian vision of masculinity, in general, and fatherhood, in particular.

Want to be an awesome dad? Here’s a sample of how the 8 Beatitudes can help you be the father God is calling you to be.

1. Blessed Are Dads Who Are Poor In Spirit

Seek to be a father after THE Father’s own heart.

Being a dad is on-the-job training. No one has it figured out. Don’t pretend YOU do. Go to God every day. Ask him to teach you to be the husband and father HE wants you to be, and the husband and father your wife and children NEED you to be.

2. Blessed Are The Dads Who Mourn

Be not afraid of feelings. Empathize with your family’s tears, fears, and struggles.

In Scripture, “mourning” doesn’t mean “be sad” so much as it means “cultivate a compassionate heart.” It is not your job to fix or feel judged by your wife’s or kids’ feelings. It is your job to be present to your wife and kids, to understand why they feel as they do, to show that you care, and to help them work through their feelings in godly ways

3. Blessed Are The Dads Who Are Meek

Meekness isn’t weakness. Cultivate the humble strength of a listening heart.

A real leader listens first. The father who is authentically meek is not afraid to hear what his wife and children really need from him and, when necessary, doesn’t hesitate to get new skills to meet those needs.

4. Blessed Are The Dads Who Hunger And Thirst For Righteousness

Awesome dads are on a mission from God. Live for Him. Lead your family to Him.

Research shows that when dads take the lead in prayer, faith formation, and character training, kids are exponentially more likely to live the Catholic faith and values as adults. Be the father that leads your family to THE Father.

5. Blessed Are The Dads Who Are Merciful

Be a loving mentor in your home. Don’t break hearts. Mold them.

Don’t be “The Punisher.” Be a mentor and teacher. Treat your children with respect. Don’t just yell or impose consequences when they mess up . Instead, teach them how to meet their needs and express themselves in good and godly ways.

6. Blessed Are the Dads Who Are Pure in Heart

Cherish the treasure of your wife and children. Protect their dignity. Affirm their worth.

Pope St. John Paul the Great taught that the opposite of love is use. Love makes people more people-y. Use makes people into things or tools. Of course, it’s important to avoid pornography and lustful behavior, both of which are tremendously objectifying, but purity of heart means avoiding all the ways we treat other people as objects. Don’t treat your wife or kids as the “things” that exist to make YOUR life easier. Set the standard for loving service in your home.

7. Blessed Are the Dads Who Are Peacemakers

Keep your house in order. Prioritize your family. Protect the heart of your home.

St. Augustine said, “Peace is the tranquility of right order.” Be the hands-on dad that makes sure your household is respectful, generous, and orderly.

8. Blessed Are the Dads Who Are Persecuted for the Sake Of Righteousness.

The world will try to undermine your effort to be an awesome dad. Be one anyway.

When your friends, family-of-origin, co-workers, or employers try to make you sacrifice what’s best for your family for what they want, choose your family and know that God the Father will honor your sacrifice.

To discover more great ideas for becoming a father after the Father’s heart, check out The BeDADitudes: 8 Ways to Be an Awesome Dad (AveMariaPress).

About the author
Dr. Greg Popcak is the author of many books and the host of More2Life Radio airing weekdays at 10am E on SiriusXM130. For more information on Catholic counseling and other resources, visit www.CatholicCounselors.com

Infant and Pregnancy Loss

The Church calls children “the supreme gift of marriage” (Gaudium et spes, n. 50). Losing a baby, whether through miscarriage or as an infant, is one of the deepest forms of grief and pain that a couple may endure.

Unfortunately, many couples often suffer without any support, as in the case when a couple loses a child before sharing that they were pregnant with others, or insufficient support because family and friends are unsure of what to say or do because of the difficulty and often suddenness of losing one so young.

If you or a loved one has suffered the loss of a child during pregnancy or infancy, know that help and resources are available.

For Your Marriage Resources

Catholic Ministries Supporting Grieving Parents and Families

  • Behold Your Child Developed by the Archdiocese of Dubuque to help provide hope and healing for parents and families who have experienced a life-limiting prenatal diagnosis, miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death
  • Catholic Miscarriage Support Practical and spiritual support for Catholics who have lost a child to miscarriage
  • Elizabeth Ministry International Offers hope, help, and healing on issues related to relationships, sexuality, and childbearing
  • Emmaus Ministry for Grieving Parents Offers spiritual support to parents who have lost a child at any age, by any cause, no matter how long ago
  • Heaven’s Gain Ministries For the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of families experiencing pregnancy loss: before, during, and after the delivery of their precious baby
  • Morning Light Ministry Guides bereaved parents from the darkness of grief toward His Morning Light
  • Red Bird Ministries Guides individuals and couples through the complexity and trauma that happens with the loss of a child from pregnancy through adulthood

Chapter Five: Parenting with the Strength of God

“Parenting is demanding” (no. 79). I don’t know anyone who would disagree with this statement. In fact a typical response, even from an adolescent, would be, “No kidding!” As a parent (father), of many children, the word “demanding” often seems like an understatement. Parenting is not for the faint of heart, nor is marriage. Marriage and children are great gifts, and can bring untold joy, yet they do not come without their challenges. St. Francis de Sales wrote: “The state of marriage is one that requires more virtue and constancy than any other: it is a perpetual exercise of mortification.” Of course I do not want to dis-sway anyone from getting married and having children, but I think it is good to be aware before going into it. Before you get married, you should humbly recognize that you and your future spouse cannot make marriage work all on our own, but instead see that “with God all things are possible” (Mt 19:26). Christian marriage and family life is about being open to “God’s grace in daily life … even in the midst of fatigue and domestic chaos” (no. 79). It is indeed in those very moments, of the ordinary, mundane, little, and the seemingly insignificant circumstances of life, that we as parents are able to experience “divine love” in a way that is unparalleled.

My wife and I had two children, and greatly desired another. After several months of “trying,” we were elated with the wonderful news that my wife was pregnant. This elation was soon replaced with intense anxiety from numerous threats of miscarriage. My wife was put on bed rest for the first three months because that seemed to be the only way to maintain the pregnancy. It was a stressful time for me, balancing care for her and our two young boys, keeping the house relatively clean, and working full time. But all of this became grace-filled. Those months, and others like them, served as a constant reminder to me and my wife that, as St. Paul taught, “When I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor 12:10). I found myself often meditating on the preceding verse, “My grace is sufficient, my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9). I knew that I could not do it on my own. As an imperfect parent I certainly “need help and strength from God, family, parish, and friends” (no. 80). My wife and I received this aid through great outpourings in the least expected ways, from meals to babysitting to—my favorite—friends who cleaned our home for us. These memories are treasures we share with our children and hope they pass on to theirs. How will you allow your domestic routine and life be “places were the Spirit shines through” (no. 80)?

Eventually my wife was taken off bed rest, the pregnancy progressed nicely and we were blessed with the birth of our third son—who had to be induced, somewhat ironically, two weeks past his due date.

About the author
Tim Roder is married and the father of six children. He is the Associate Director of the USCCB Secretariat of Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth serving the Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage. Tim holds a BA and MA in Catholic Theology and has work professionally for the Church for 20 years.

World Meeting of Families Catechesis Series
The USCCB Secretariat of Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth is excited about the World Meeting of Families (WMOF) being held in Philadelphia in September 2015. We are presenting a series of short articles focused on the WMOF Catechesis Love is our Mission: The Family Fully Alive and its implications for our daily lives. We will follow the timing suggested by the Archdiocese of Philadelphia by exploring one theme each month leading up to the World Meeting.

To see the rest of the monthly articles click here.

When Dad Is a Fan

I can always tell when my husband is on the phone with his dad. He stops whatever he is doing, walks outside and starts smiling in anticipation of his dad’s latest joke. My father-in-law just survived his third heart attack but continues to enjoy life and see the humor in it all. What a blessing to have a father who, after riding the waves of life with his children, emerges with a smile. Fathers do that. They bring levity to the weight of daily living.

It’s widely held that children formulate the image of their heavenly father based on their relationship with their earthly fathers. So, in 1989 when our oldest was about six and Bart Simpson made his TV series debut, I banned the show from our house. Recently, our oldest son asked, “Mom, why didn’t you want us to watch Bart Simpson?”

Homer, Bart’s dad, was always messing up and treated as an incompetent buffoon. I answered my son, “You have a wonderful dad. You and your three brothers are probably going to be fathers someday so how would planting those seeds benefit four impressionable minds?”

Fathers are unique in their parenting styles but similar in the fact that they are like foundations of homes; they hold up, hold together and keep the family safe from whatever life throws at them. Interestingly, like a foundation, the powerful role they play is sometimes hidden from view.

Growing up in the 60’s, my mom was the “coach” of our family and somehow managed the seven kids, three pets and a full time job. My dad was her best friend, devoted partner and “the team’s” ultimate fan.

As teenagers, Mom would review the curfew rules before we left the house. After she had laid down the law, we’d head toward the front door to leave. Dad would walk over to us and whisper, “Remember. Call me anytime. I will pick you up. No questions asked.” Although he consistently supported “the coach” we always knew he had our backs.

As a mother of four sons, I’ve spent years warming bleachers while spectating a variety of athletes. In my humble opinion, the one that most closely compares to the life of a father is a soccer player.

Regardless of the weather, he shows up. In preparation for the game, he puts on his shin guards because he knows protecting himself from injury is a good idea. No matter where the ball is, he pays attention to the whole field and anticipates the next play. He is a team player and readily offers encouragement. When on offense he has a goal in mind. When on defense, he protects and defends. He is quick on his feet and skillful. He runs for 90 minutes and on many occasions never scores a goal. This does not defeat him because he knows it’s not the individual, it is the team that matters. Win or lose, he shakes hands, goes home and gets ready for the next game.

Recently, I’ve noticed that our sons call their dad’s cell twice as much as they call mine. I’m learning to put away my whistle and get out my pom-poms. As young men, they no longer need a coach. They are much better served by a steadfast, accessible and encouraging fan.

“Courageous” Movie Offers Powerful Message About Fatherhood

Are you looking for a new movie with a compelling message and action-packed police drama? Then check out “Courageous,” which opens around the country on September 30.

Sherwood Pictures produced the film, following up on the success of an earlier release, “Fireproof.” Unique among production companies, Sherwood Pictures is a ministry of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia. The actors are volunteers, drawn mostly from the church’s ministry. Most of them, especially the leads, turn in professional performances worthy of a mainstream production.

“Courageous” tells the story of four law enforcement officers who bravely face the worst the streets have to offer. At home, however, they’re falling short as dads. One nags his son and brushes off his daughter; another is divorced and hardly sees his child; a third fathered a daughter when he was young and then walked away. It takes a personal tragedy, and more, to help these men recognize and accept their responsibilities as Christian fathers.

Although set in an evangelical Christian context, the film’s message about the importance of fatherhood will resonate with people of all faiths. The filmmakers are encouraging individuals, small groups, and faith communities to use the movie as a springboard to discussion and practical application of its message.

More information and resources are available on the Courageous website.