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For Your Marriage

Married for 20 years and the proud parents of five children, Soren and Ever are co-founders of Trinity House Community, a Catholic nonprofit with a mission to inspire families to make home a small taste of heaven for the renewal of faith and culture.

Woodpiles, Pear Harvests and Fall Family Teamwork

It didn’t take long for our youngest son to start stacking the newly delivered cord of firewood at the end of the driveway. What began as a father-son project turned into an “I’ve-got-this, Dad” moment for our son to demonstrate his meticulous stacking skills.

And recently, this same middle-schooler helped with picking several hundred pears from our little stand of aging pear trees. After lugging the big bags of pears into the kitchen, he helped slice them, bag them, and put them in the freezer for cobblers, pies, and jams for months to come. 

It’s hard to believe, but the time has come once again for raking, cleaning gutters, winterizing pipes, installing storm windows, clearing the garden, and plugging gaps in our home. But our recent afternoons with Charlie were a timely reminder that our prepare-for-winter to-do lists (so integral to a well-run Household Economy) don’t need to be drudgery. With a little teamwork and creativity, each of these tasks can become the occasion for quality time spent together.

But competing with these long to-do lists is a powerful juggernaut: our kids’ sports practices and game schedules, music lessons, social engagements, and other extracurriculars, on top of the demanding jobs so many parents have. We’re not sure about you, but on some recent Sunday evenings, we’ve had to admit that most of our weekend was not spent improving our households, but instead, chauffeuring everyone to their activities.   

Yes, there is fun—and important teamwork and leadership formation—to be had on the sports fields, but perhaps we should ask: How are we doing as parents with this type of formation in our own backyards, kitchens, workshops, garages, and basements? We ask ourselves—even as we share these questions with you—“What if…?” 

  • We prioritized and planned out this coming Saturday’s shared work as a family? 
  • We front-loaded our errands at moments throughout the week, in order that they don’t end up hijacking the weekend?    
  • We entered the Sabbath—with nightfall on Saturday evening—in a spirit of rest, family togetherness, and anticipation of encountering our Lord in the Eucharist on Sunday? 

The reality is that so many families—including ours—are so overwhelmed that all three “what if’s?” often go unasked. We then pay the price with Saturdays of little, if any, shared work, and Sundays spent in a rush. But maybe there’s a better way?

Jesus spent thirty of his earthly years in shared family work as the son of a carpenter. St. John Paul II wrote that Jesus thus “looks with love upon human work.” And the Lord also gave us the Third Commandment, that we might rest on the Sabbath, worship, and be renewed.

Charlie’s proud before-and-after of the woodpile project has us looking forward to more fall family work and togetherness that awaits us in the weeks ahead. We all, with Jesus, have the opportunity to “look with love” upon these many tasks, strewn in our path like so many dazzling leaves.