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For Your Marriage

Married for 20 years and the proud parents of five children, Soren and Ever are co-founders of Trinity House Community, a Catholic nonprofit with a mission to inspire families to make home a small taste of heaven for the renewal of faith and culture.

How to go to Joseph

With the feast of St. Joseph in March, Pope Francis’ brief but powerful reflection With a Father’s Heart deserves our continued attention.

Written with three goals—“to increase our love for this great saint, to encourage us to implore
his intercession and to imitate his virtues and his zeal”—we recall three of our favorite points:

  • “Go to Joseph.” We love this popular expression Pope Francis wove into the reflection. Why not call this phrase to mind throughout the day as we serve and lead our families? When we’re losing our patience…when the day is going sideways…let’s “go to Joseph” with a quick prayer!
  • “Confront reality” with your own “fiat.” We appreciated how Pope Francis pointed out the vexing challenges Joseph faced. Life didn’t unfold as he had planned: the circumstances of his marriage, messages from angels, exile in Egypt… Instead of running, Joseph “declared his own ‘fiat,’” “set aside his own ideas,” and “accepted personal responsibility.” Faced with our own unique challenges, we can do likewise.
  • “Our world today needs fathers.” With a Father’s Heart is an inspiring and much-needed overview of authentic fatherhood: tenderness, obedience, acceptance, creativity, silence, trust, courage, hard work, self-sacrifice, and chastity. We came away with a renewed sense of urgency to “go to Joseph,” learn from his witness, and courageously confront the trends that threaten our families today.

Yes, the Year of Saint Joseph is behind us. But there is never an end to the possibilities we have to “increase our love” for St. Joseph, “implore his intercession,” and “imitate his virtues and his zeal.” To be more concrete, how do we imitate St. Joseph? Here are a few practical
suggestions:

  • With St. Joseph, encounter Jesus in his hidden years in Nazareth. By this, we mean that the vast majority of Jesus’ earthly life was spent patiently working and learning from Joseph and Mary. As parents today, we need to embrace the “hiddenness” of the quiet hours we invest with our children, teaching them and working alongside them in our homes.
  • Start small, and celebrate small wins. In our Instagram-perfect culture, it may feel like we’ll never come close to teaching our children how to use all the tools or cook all the recipes, and that’s 100% fine. Each family’s reflection of God’s own “communion of persons” is absolutely unique, and comparing ourselves to others gets us nowhere.
  • Look for daily ways to say, “Come here, let me show you something.” In our own parenting, we’ve often found ourselves doing tasks solo (because we finish them so much more quickly!). But we need to slow down and invite our children to learn from us and share the work of the household—whether that’s how to make a grilled cheese sandwich, use the weed-eater, or manage a savings account. It’s a cliché, but we’ll say it anyway: “The years fly!” When our kids step across the threshold from their own hidden “Nazareth” and into a life of service, will they be ready? Will they know how to boil water, fix things around the house, and stick to a budget? More importantly, will they have what it takes to show true devotion to their own family, quietly providing for them and their growth? Will they be able to confront reality with their own fiats?

We parents are our children’s “first educators” in the faith—and yes, we might say that we’re also their first teachers in how to oversee the gift of their own “little Nazareth” someday. St. Joseph, glory of home life, pillar of families, pray for us!